Family jokes

New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."

Students: "OOOF"

Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

Students: "Your Parents."

Q: Why can orphans swim?

A: They have or-fins.

Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?

Mother: He died.

Daughter: How did he die?

Mother: He never got recharged.

Incest is wincest. (That was above.)

Fun for the whole family!

Next of kin, count me in!

What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.

At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"

My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.

There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.

Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.

He was a great pilot.

I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.

Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-

Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."

Orphan: And I took that, personally.

What's an orphan's favorite game?

GTA, because they're actually wanted? Lol.

My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.

Then I asked him how many years ago.

He replied with, "When were you born?"

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

So they could be wanted.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Answer: Your mom.

How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?

It doesn’t have a home page.

I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!

What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"

I wish I could kill my family, but you realize you're an orphan.

The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.

"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"

So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."