Family jokes
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
What’s the worst joke ever? Your parents’ relationship.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Your hairline goes so far back your mom can't even reach it.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Why do orphans play GTA? Because they can’t be wanted.
Joe mama so fat that she is homeless wit you.
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan?
The ant knows where home is.
Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
Yo mama's so big, her belt size is "equator."
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.
In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.
Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?
Nemo goes back to his father.
My son came to me depressed, so I pointed to the spare bedroom and said, "Hang in here, son."
What’s worse than finger banging your sister?
Finding your dad’s wedding ring.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.