Family jokes

New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."

Students: "OOOF"

Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

Students: "Your Parents."

Q: Why can orphans swim?

A: They have or-fins.

What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?

Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.

Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?

Mother: He died.

Daughter: How did he die?

Mother: He never got recharged.

Why are orphans so skinny?

They never eat anything that is family size.

Incest is wincest. (That was above.)

Fun for the whole family!

Next of kin, count me in!

What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.

At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"

I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.

There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.

Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.

He was a great pilot.

Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-

Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."

Orphan: And I took that, personally.

People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.

I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.

What's an orphan's favorite game?

GTA, because they're actually wanted? Lol.

My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.

A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

So they could be wanted.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Answer: Your mom.

How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?

It doesn’t have a home page.

My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.

Then I asked him how many years ago.

He replied with, "When were you born?"