I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.
Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them don’t work out.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
What is Uranus' favorite exercise? ... Hy knees.
Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.
Why couldn’t the bike stand up? Cuz it was too tired.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some chips and sweets.
No, he can't keep his heart rate down, and she's got diabetes.
What do we want? A cure for obesity.
When do we want it? After lunch.
What school subject does an orphan love?
PE because they actually get picked.
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
Why did the gym close?
It's because it just never worked out.
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
Lean.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
