My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!
Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise? The dead hang.
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.
I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!
I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!
How do you know that Americans hate exercise?
9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.
Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:
1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps
What kind of jokes doesn’t work out?
Fat people jokes.
What's the definition of suspicious?...
A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field. 💀
Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.
What is an old lady's favorite exercise?
Trying to get up from the soft couch.
Wow, you did 10 chin-ups? Was it 1 for each chin?
How do you get rid of a fat ghost? You exercise it.
What's the slogan for a Muslim gym?
Might in dynamite.
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
I went on a walk last night with a really hot girl. Then she noticed me, and we went for a run.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.
Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them don’t work out.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
