Exercise jokes
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?
All of them.
Why was the rapper always in shape?
Because he dropped so many BARS, he had to stay fit to pick them up!
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he never skipped a beat!
Why did the rapper go to the gym?
To work on his flex rhymes!
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.
He said the ATM outside.
My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!
Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
What does a sprinter eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast!
On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.
I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!
I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!
How do you know that Americans hate exercise?
9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.
Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:
1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps
What kind of jokes doesn’t work out?
Fat people jokes.
Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
What's the definition of suspicious?...
A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field. 💀
Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.
What is an old lady's favorite exercise?
Trying to get up from the soft couch.
Wow, you did 10 chin-ups? Was it 1 for each chin?
Why did the doctor tell the man to go for a mountain walk?
Alps clear the mind! Haha.