This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something. SOMEONE will laugh. Say: "This word isn't gonna be funny until I tell you, your probably not going to laugh." *your friend* "what's the word?" *you* "finger" *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not everyone laughs, so don't feel bad if they don't. Also, don't be surprised if you get put in jail for murder, because you're going to kill someone with this.
Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.
People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama, but mine's a tragedy.
What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?
He made no cents.
When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering, but you walk toward his gun; "I will finish what you started."
Why are Americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.
I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled, "Does anyone know CPR?" I said, "I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed and laughed, well, everyone except one.
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were. I responded, "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
How do you know a cannibal picnic is over?
Everyone's eaten.
Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."
My friends: "What's your dream job?"
Me: "I'm going to die young :))"
What part do people slit the most?
Everyone.
What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?
You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Why was the staircase so sad?
Because everyone walks on them.
*Watches sad movie with family*
Everyone else: *Crying*
Sister: How aren't you crying?
Me: I have no tears left to cry...
What happened after Technoblade died?
Everyone got raw pork chop.
My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"
Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.
The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."
