Everyone Jokes

People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama but mines a tragedy.

What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man? He made no cents

I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled "dose anyone know CPR" i said "i know the whole alphabet"everyone laughed and laughed well everyone except one.

My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were, I responded "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."

Why is a gun like a box of chocolates? If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.

How do you know a cannibal picnic is over?

Everyone's eaten

Everyone in my class: I can't wait until have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job My friends: What's your dream job? Me: I'm going to die young :))

what part do people slit the most? everyone

*Watches sad movie with family*

Everyone else: *Crying*

Sister: How aren't you crying?

Me: I have no tear left to cry...

What happened after technoblade died?

Everyone got raw pork chop.

My mom said the happier a person is when sick the sooner they get better.

So I went to the hospital hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.

A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone. But HAY! its in my jeans

A teacher says “if you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars how much do you have” Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front but the teacher called on her anyway. The girl said. “ My parents left me so I would have one dollar.”

Me dozing off while driving. Everyeone alse on the passanger plane September 11 2001

Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...

Then IT hit me.

Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss

Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss

Me: good night everyone My friends and family: night Me: *gets in coffin* My family: *stares at my friends* you aren't going to do something?!? My friends: *to my family* nope, this is normal.