Everyone Jokes

A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”

Good Morning Everyone have a good day and a positive one too! :)

why did the mail man die

because everyone dies.

There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel - Crackling of fire - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you - Cats purring

I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed

Your so much like a marshmallow, your so squishy and sticky and everyone puts their sticks inside of u

TELL ME YOU DONE THIS WITH OUT YOU TELL ME YOU DONE THIS.!!! so we all know when yall where in school yall would fart but yall would try to make it silent. but for me that one day I farted loud and every one could hear. every one got to blame the annoying kid.

Why is the sun so mean? cuz it keeps ROASTING everyone

Okay, Good night everyone who has common sense! "Akeld" you did not make it.

Why would doors do well on social media?

Everyone looks for their handles

Leo is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads her, but we're forced to deal with her ANYWAY

why does everyone call me racist?

my shadow is black

There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."

If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.

Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank.

Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone.

everyone is autistic midjets

A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind

Man: whats up? Me: im annoyed Man: Why? Me: I stole my gf's heart Man: So why are you annoyed? Me: Everyone else in the surgery room gave me weird looks