Everyone jokes

Everyone stop making 9/11 jokes; they just don't fly.

Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.

Kid: Please.

Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.

Kid: Everybody is hugging.

Dark jokes are just like food.

Not everyone gets it.

I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.

His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.

So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.

Yo mama so fat that she had to wear a yellow jacket and everyone shouted, "Taxi!"

Hello, everyone, how is your day today?

Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?

I just wanna say thanks to everyone who favorited my jokes and commented! Thanks!

When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.

"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."

"Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because everyone's dying to get in!"

Everyone knows why 6 is scared of 7, cuz 7 8 9.

But why does 10 have PTSD?

Cuz it’s between 9/11.

Guess what, everybody? I'm dumb in math. I'm dumb and stupid at math.

Me: Roasts my annoying cousin.

Everyone at the barbecue...

Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?

Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.

Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.

Teacher: Tell me a moral story.

Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.

Teacher: What is the moral even?

Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.

Me: "I came home laughing."

Parents: "What's wrong?"

Me: "The teacher asked everyone a question. Luckily, I was the only one who knew."

Parents: "Good for you, Johnny. What was the fantastic question your teacher gave everyone and only you knew?"

Me: "Well, it's kinda complicated, but here it goes."

Parents: "What is it?"

Me: "Who farted?"

They finally released the audio recording from the black box in Kobe’s helicopter.

Apparently when the helicopter caught fire, Kobe was sitting right next to the only fire extinguisher. You could hear everyone screaming for him to put out the fire, but he couldn’t figure out how to use it. They begged and pleaded for him to give the extinguisher to anyone else... the last thing you hear is Kobe saying “I’d rather die than pass it!”