Everyone jokes

A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind

Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.

Anyone want a free pizza? Because you liking a pizza with toppings that not many people enjoy allows you to eat the entire guilt free pizza, that they said they didn't want and everyone already offered you a slice of.

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

Yo momma is like a penny...

Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants!

When I cut vegetables for my famous stew, I don’t know why everyone in the nursing home is always looking at me.

Hey, how is everyone today? Cause I am feeling great!

When you turn off all the annoying beeping things in the hospital, and everyone starts sleeping better.

Everyone is able to be stupid, but you're just abusing the privilege.

Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them... But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?

Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it.

Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubba's two best friends (the three were inseparable) agreed. The first friend said, "Hard to tell, can you turn him over?" The coroner looked perplexed but did so. "Nope, that's not Bubba." The second friend said, "He's burnt up pretty bad, can you roll him over again?" The coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway. "Nope, that's not him." Pretty confused, the coroner asked, "How can you tell it's not him by rolling him over?" "Well, you see, Bubba had two assholes." "Impossible," the coroner replied. The friends said, "I don't know, but every time we went to town, everyone would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"

Everyone is autistic midgets.

When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"

You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.

I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.

Think everyone who wrote these jokes are dead yet?

I love everyone.

What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?

He made no cents.

See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.