Everyone jokes
Me: Doctor, can I get a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.
Doctor: I told you a billion times already. Everyone's butt has a crack in it.
Me: How do you know that?
Hitler was the most handsome man alive.
Everyone died for him.
Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.
Your mama's so fat, when she went to the movies, she sat next to everyone.
Attention, everyone: I will be leaving this website. Thank you everybody who has been nice to me. Maybe I’ll come back in the future, but for now: Goodbye.
You're so fat, you drank an invisibility potion, and everyone could still see you!
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
Why are orphans gay?
They call everyone "daddy."
Have you heard about the tanning Olympics?
Everyone wanted bronze! (This is a lil cringe.)
What did the guy tired of hearing people joke about rape do?
He killed everyone on this f#cking website.
Why did everyone quit the high school volleyball team? To join Coach Kyle's team, of course!
Everyone punch orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I got an Xbox achievement the other day. It said "Trash Master," and everyone looked at me at the funeral.
Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.
Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.
Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
My teacher asks all of us in class, "What is your favorite thing in the world?"
Josh: Cookies.
Jacob: My parents.
Erika: My Friends!
Brody: Lamborghinis.
Me: Pulling over in a car in the middle of nowhere at night with my girlfriend and getting in the back seat where the magic happens... ;-)
My Teacher: Ok, everyone that was all good...WAIT A DANG SECOND!
*Everyone Looks at Me With A Weird Face....