Everyone jokes
Okay, good night everyone who has common sense! "Akeld," you did not make it.
Who is this Gwen everyone is talking about?
I wish everyone spoke to each other the way God did.
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
What is fun? Everyone.
Have you heard about the tanning Olympics?
Everyone wanted bronze! (This is a lil cringe.)
Why are orphans gay?
They call everyone "daddy."
"Imagine being an orphan, could never be me," I say. For some reason, everyone started crying, then I walked out of Dave's orphanage.
Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.
Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.
Teacher: Why?
Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.
Everyone, just as a warning, stay AWAY from Akeld!
Why did the mailman die?
'Cause everyone dies.
When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"
Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.
Kid: Please.
Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.
Kid: Everybody is hugging.
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
Why do trannies have such high rates of suicide?
Because they want everyone to accept them, but they can't accept themselves.
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”
Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA
The best part about Asian jokes is that the only people that can be offended can't see the jokes.
Why do transgender people have high rates of suicide?
Because they can't accept themselves for who they are, but they want everyone else to accept them.