Everyone jokes

Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.

Son (in a happy tone): I know.

Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?

Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.

Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in class.

Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.

Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.

The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"

Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.

Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.

A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. When he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says, "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.

Dark humor is like food.

Not everyone gets it.

So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.

Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.

This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.

Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.

Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.

Everyone loves orphans,

other than their parents of course.

It's not that I don't get the laugh, but most of you need to read through what's already been posted, 'cause everybody's saying the same sh*t.

The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.

When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.

A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.

"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."

The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.

So I treat everyone like garbage.

Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?

When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.

Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!