Everyone jokes

1, 2, I have a gun.

3, 4, I am in a school.

5, 6, Everyone on the ground!

"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."

Why did the rapper become a barber?

To give everyone FRESH CUTS.

Hello, everyone, how is your day today?

They finally released the audio recording from the black box in Kobe’s helicopter.

Apparently when the helicopter caught fire, Kobe was sitting right next to the only fire extinguisher. You could hear everyone screaming for him to put out the fire, but he couldn’t figure out how to use it. They begged and pleaded for him to give the extinguisher to anyone else... the last thing you hear is Kobe saying “I’d rather die than pass it!”

POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.

Everyone: "Wow, you're so nice and perfect! Your life must be great!"

*Reality of having depression* Me: "Oh yeah, I guess. 😀"

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.

Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.

I barged into a Halloween party at my school with my air-soft AR-15!

I was so scary, EVERYONE ran away!

Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."

Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"

Me: Kills the boss and takes his loot.

Everyone else in the office: 😱

Why is Death the world's biggest slut?

Death gets to f*** everyone.

Me: "I came home laughing."

Parents: "What's wrong?"

Me: "The teacher asked everyone a question. Luckily, I was the only one who knew."

Parents: "Good for you, Johnny. What was the fantastic question your teacher gave everyone and only you knew?"

Me: "Well, it's kinda complicated, but here it goes."

Parents: "What is it?"

Me: "Who farted?"

This boy's eyebrow was so bushy, everyone thought that it was a squirrel tail! XD

Everyone give this joke a thumb's down and see if it can become the worst rated joke on the site.

If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.

I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.