Every jokes

A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.

I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.

She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."

Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.

🚘 What is as old as the earth 🌎 and new every month? The moon.

Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.

You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”

Your forehead is so big, it takes the sun a year to shine on every part of it.

Every time a midget runs on the grass, the grass tickles their balls.

I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."

Yo mama so fat, she meets every world leader there is!

lmao

I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.

Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!

You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.

Why does Tesco like midgets?

Every little helps.

At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.

Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?

Because his mom and dad are in every episode!

I found a key that works for every door at my school.

A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”

The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”

The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”