Every jokes

Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?

Because the parents are in every episode.

It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.

You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?

Answer: Living.

I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.

She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."

Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.

🚘 What is as old as the earth 🌎 and new every month? The moon.

Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.

You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”

What’s the difference between Swifties and rap fans?

One rap fan has a higher IQ than every Swiftie combined.

What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?

The letter M.

Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.

I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."

I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.

What kind of shit does a ghost take every time? A spooky dookie!

A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”

The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”

The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”

I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.

Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.

I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.