Every

Every jokes

Incest

My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.

Dollar

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.

Ghost

I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.

Blonde

For every blonde in the world,

scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Memes

Routine

I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.

Music

Why do Black people not like country music?

Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.

Mother

Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?

I really hit the mother lode with you!

Machine

I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.

It just doesn’t make any cents!

Man

What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?

A margarita hits the spot every time.

Girl

The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.

One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”

“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”

“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”

Size

I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.

Comfort

Kenny is a comfort snacker.

Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.

Orphan

Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?

Because the parents are in every episode.

Orphanage

One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.

Transportation

It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.