If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.
Every Jokes
I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.
For every blonde in the world,
scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
Every joke I make about 9/11 just has a tendency to crash and burn.
Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
Did you know every market in Africa is a black market?
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.
It just doesn’t make any cents!
The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.
One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”
“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”
“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
Kenny is a comfort snacker.
Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because the parents are in every episode.
One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.
I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.
She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."
Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.
