Every jokes
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey, what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, it has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice so he sinned twice." The man asks, "Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office-- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?
Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because his mom and dad are in every episode!
What did Sophie Brussaux's baby get every week?
A face full of sperm.
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?
No, well neither has he.
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
Why are orphans so lucky?
Every crisp packet is family sized.
I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.
That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!
I found a key that works for every door at my school.
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
Why do emo people go to the store with no money?
Because they just scan their bar code and get everything free.
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
It's a good thing I'm married.
Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.
Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?
And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?