Every jokes

I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.

That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!

I found a key that works for every door at my school.

Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?

Friend: What?

Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.

Why do emo people go to the store with no money?

Because they just scan their bar code and get everything free.

Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.

It's a good thing I'm married.

Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!

Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"

The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"

TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.

Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.

Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!

Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?

And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?

Do you know what is good about being an orphan?

Every candy bar is family sized.

I hope every time you watch YouTube, you get 30 second unskippable ads!

Your hairline is so far back that you have four faces to wash every day.

You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."

Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.

This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.

You're gay.

Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.

You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.

If I had two nickels every time PETA parodied a game, I'd have 14.