Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!
Every Jokes
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.
Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?
And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?
Do you know what is good about being an orphan?
Every candy bar is family sized.
I hope every time you watch YouTube, you get 30 second unskippable ads!
Your hairline is so far back that you have four faces to wash every day.
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.
This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.
If I had two nickels every time PETA parodied a game, I'd have 14.
Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
Poor bastard.
Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar.
These two have been great friends for over 20 years...play golf together...and meet every Tuesday at a classy bar for a glass of wine...talk about golf...good wine and spiritual matters. One day while at the bar enjoying a glass of merlot, the Rabbi raises his glass of wine and says to his long time friend.."brother, do you believe Jesus turned water into wine?"...the Priest thinks for a moment and raises his glass of wine and replies..."yes brother, I do believe Jesus turned water into wine...but don't get excited...since Jesus was Jewish, the wine was probably Manischewitz."
A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"
