Employment jokes
I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.
Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *turns in my gun and my badge*
Boss: You're a waiter. Where did you get those?
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.
I used to work at a T-shirt factory before the company folded.
Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones!
1. Full name: John.
2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.
3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.
4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.
5. Mental health: mentally retarded.
6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.
7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.
8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.
9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.
Why does Zac say he works at McDonald's? Because Aaron go errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
What is Labor Day? That’s when mommies have their babes.
My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
My job is so amazing.
Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.
- I work with animals.
- Great! What job?
- A butcher.
Why can't orphans work at McDonald's? Because they call their employees family.
You're so ugly that when you came out of the haunted house, you had a job offer.
Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?
Shut up and keep sewing!
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you got to hand it to her.
There was a house with a three-story building.
The first one had Mexicans.
The second one had Africans.
The third one had white people.
An earthquake came.
But who did survive?
The white family because they were at work.