I saw a kid crying today and asked them where are your parents............. God I love working at a Orphanage
What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.
The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.
It was soda-pressing.
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.
The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."
The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."
So this women had a job she wanted to hang out with her boyfriend the she lied about having corona virus then she got out of work then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend then she said i lied now we can you no water sigh lick sigh then her boss texted Ew and YOUR FIRED. one more story one day this teen named alexis got kicked out of a house then went to live with her bf then she got pregnant posted it all on social media
My aunt worked as a human cannon ball
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired
A man goes into a job interview and sits down. The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there's a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?" The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!" The interviewer is impressed and says, "That's great! You're hired!" The man smiles. "Really? I'm so glad, because I really need this Yob."
I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any- let's just say I list my job as a bud driver
Be grateful:
You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Cause it's a family company.
Q: Where does a one-legged waitress work?
A: IHOP.
My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher. Its [SODAPRESSING]
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!
I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!
