Employment

Employment Jokes

I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"

I got fired from the library in the first 30 minutes because I "womens rights" in the sci-fi fiction section.

I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.

What’s worse than getting a job at McDonald’s?

Not getting the job at McDonald’s.

Finally my father came early from office today. I am very happy.

He was fired from his job.

One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.

It got too out of hand and I got spanked.

One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.

And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.

And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.

I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.

It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.

So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.

About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."