Egg jokes
What is an egg joke?
Egg-xcellent question!
What did the blender say to the orange juice?
"What the fuck are you, you are so fucking stupid, shut the fuck up."
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...
After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"
My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him, "Omelette you do your egg jokes."
sussy game artifact
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?
Do you know why most men are impressive cooks?
Because with two eggs and a sausage, they can keep women full for 9 months.
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
Chuck Norris can make an omelet from Kinder surprise.
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."
What did one gay sperm say to the other? "You think we’ll find the egg and all this shit?"
Enyaw’s fanny smells of dirty, moist, fishy, rotten egg, dead Elizabeth, pig dick, cow cum filth.
Dirty bitch!
I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I'll let you know.
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
What did the evil chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
Some sperm arrive in the uterus and see that the egg is already fertilized. They complain that they lost the race and have nothing to do but die.
One speaks up and says he isn't angry, and the others ask why.
"He thought he was going to be alive," the sperm says. "This chick works at an abortion clinic."
What do you call an egg murder?
An eggs-terminator!