Egg jokes
If I busted an egg on your head.... the yolk would be on you... ha ha ha!!!
Crack me, break me, love me, and you ate me--egg.
My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him, "Omelette you do your egg jokes."
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He forgot his eggs.
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?
"Kinder Egg surprise."
So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.
I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.
What is an egg joke?
Egg-xcellent question!
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
Why can’t baby ducks lay eggs? Because their quacks are too small.
Why did the chicken crack the safe?
To get to her nest egg.
What do eggs like doing on stage?
Cracking jokes!
What's an egg's favorite phrase?
An eggspression.
Farmer: Phew! I got all the eggs from the chickens!
Farmer #2: EGGcellent!
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.
He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.
When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.
It happened too fast, he watched the very last.
Next he died, eaten all fried.