Egg jokes
Why did the chief go to jail?
Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!
They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Women have eggs and milk in them...
And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
I love eggs!
Some sperm arrive in the uterus and see that the egg is already fertilized. They complain that they lost the race and have nothing to do but die.
One speaks up and says he isn't angry, and the others ask why.
"He thought he was going to be alive," the sperm says. "This chick works at an abortion clinic."
Yo mama so fat, when she landed on the earth, the earth cracked like eggs. LOL.
Why did the egg hide?
Because it was a little chicken!
Barack Obama and Tork Poettschke are at the Natural History Museum. They stop in front of a showcase.
"These are the eggs from the ostrich!"
"Aha, and where are Trump's eggs?"
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
You know why eggs can't tell jokes?
They crack each other up!
Teacher's pen is RED, our pen is BLUE, she is marking an EGG on my marksheet, left with questions and no CLUE.
What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.
Eggy joke for all to enjoy!
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.
Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.
What do you call a bald person on fire?
A fried egg.