Why did the chief go to jail?
Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
Yo mama so fat, when she landed on the earth, the earth cracked like eggs. LOL.
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.
Teacher's pen is RED, our pen is BLUE, she is marking an EGG on my marksheet, left with questions and no CLUE.
What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.
Eggy joke for all to enjoy!
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
You know why eggs can't tell jokes?
They crack each other up!
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.
Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(
Why did the egg hide?
Because it was a little chicken!
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.
Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
What did the evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs! Get it guys Devil-ed eggs! 😆
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."
