Eating jokes
This man walks into a bar and says, "How do I get service here?"
The assistant bar attendant tells him to take a seat as the bartender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes, the man says this is ridiculous, that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts, which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes go by, and the man then says, "OK, I get it, no service of beer, but free nuts," to which the assistant says, "Hell no, the game starts in 10 minutes." Everyone laughs and claps.
What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?
People don't eat their broccoli.
I hate it when I accidentally eat out my dog, lol.
If Huggy and Kissy ever had a kid, they would have a good lunch. *evil laugh* 😈
What do dogs eat? Dog food.
Explain Bear i hate you
Why do cannibals not like to eat clowns?
Cause they taste funny!
What do Asian people eat?
Rice.
My mom was poor, so we had nothing to eat. I slept on the floor, but now I'm rich, rich, rich 😜
What do you call a rapper's favorite place to eat?
The MIC Donald's drive-thru.
What did the fat girl say to the donut?
"I'm going to eat you tonight..."
What’s the best math equation to eat?
Cosine Law.
I was at a farm in France called ‘Uber eats Farmer league’, then I saw a strange creature called ‘Pessi’. He only appears against farmers.
He ran towards to me, I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to shout “Big games! Big games!“ Pessi scurried away.
A: Do you eat food?
B: Yes...
A: You can sit on deez nuts then!
B: Omg I have depression now.
Why does Blake eat cake? Because Caleb can't.
Kile: Hey, asshole! I bet you listen to trash 50 Cent! How about you get to quarters, listen to him! My favorite rapper is the best of all! How about you go eat a cracker, you parrot nose, fuck!
Remy: I'm... y-y... YOUR DUMBER THAN ANT! I BET YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER IS A CANDY RAPPER!!
Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"
Why didn't Stephen Hawking ever eat chicken wings? Because he didn't exist.
"F***, Jesus ate his stinky ass."
Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A. Because they hate the taste of their stupid clown wigs, makeup, and retarded shoes.
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!