Eating jokes
I would kill for something to eat--the cannibal.
Have you tried eating a clock?
It's time-consuming!
"Well," he says, "It's what mommy calls me sometimes."
The little girl screams, "Don't eat it! It's a fucking asshole."
Why did the skeleton eat tacos?
Because he was hungry.
Would you rather eat a brick or a matter baby?
Why do fat cows eat fat cows? Because I wrote this in America.
Why do you have to wipe yourself with toilet paper? Because bugs can crawl, eat your poop, and drink your pee!
Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!
Did you know toilets, while you're at work, eat your toilet paper?
This man walks into a bar and says, "How do I get service here?"
The assistant bar attendant tells him to take a seat as the bartender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes, the man says this is ridiculous, that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts, which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes go by, and the man then says, "OK, I get it, no service of beer, but free nuts," to which the assistant says, "Hell no, the game starts in 10 minutes." Everyone laughs and claps.
What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?
People don't eat their broccoli.
I hate it when I accidentally eat out my dog, lol.
If Huggy and Kissy ever had a kid, they would have a good lunch. *evil laugh* 😈
What do Asian people eat?
Rice.
Why do cannibals not like to eat clowns?
Cause they taste funny!
My mom was poor, so we had nothing to eat. I slept on the floor, but now I'm rich, rich, rich 😜
Me and my mom order Chinese food.
My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."
What do dogs eat? Dog food.
What do you call a rapper's favorite place to eat?
The MIC Donald's drive-thru.
I was at a farm in France called ‘Uber eats Farmer league’, then I saw a strange creature called ‘Pessi’. He only appears against farmers.
He ran towards to me, I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to shout “Big games! Big games!“ Pessi scurried away.