Eating jokes

Did you know toilets, while you're at work, eat your toilet paper?

Why do fat cows eat fat cows? Because I wrote this in America.

This man walks into a bar and says, "How do I get service here?"

The assistant bar attendant tells him to take a seat as the bartender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes, the man says this is ridiculous, that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts, which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes go by, and the man then says, "OK, I get it, no service of beer, but free nuts," to which the assistant says, "Hell no, the game starts in 10 minutes." Everyone laughs and claps.

What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?

People don't eat their broccoli.

I hate it when I accidentally eat out my dog, lol.

What do Asian people eat?

Rice.

Why do cannibals not like to eat clowns?

Cause they taste funny!

My mom was poor, so we had nothing to eat. I slept on the floor, but now I'm rich, rich, rich 😜

What do dogs eat? Dog food.

Me and my mom order Chinese food.

My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."

Your mama can't walk up the stairs because she eats too much chips.

What do you call a rapper's favorite place to eat?

The MIC Donald's drive-thru.

What’s the best math equation to eat?

Cosine Law.

Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"

Kile: Hey, asshole! I bet you listen to trash 50 Cent! How about you get to quarters, listen to him! My favorite rapper is the best of all! How about you go eat a cracker, you parrot nose, fuck!

Remy: I'm... y-y... YOUR DUMBER THAN ANT! I BET YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER IS A CANDY RAPPER!!

Why does Blake eat cake? Because Caleb can't.

I was at a farm in France called ‘Uber eats Farmer league’, then I saw a strange creature called ‘Pessi’. He only appears against farmers.

He ran towards to me, I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to shout “Big games! Big games!“ Pessi scurried away.

A: Do you eat food?

B: Yes...

A: You can sit on deez nuts then!

B: Omg I have depression now.

Why didn't Stephen Hawking ever eat chicken wings? Because he didn't exist.

What did the fat girl say to the donut?

"I'm going to eat you tonight..."