Ok so I have a dairy and sugar allergy and if I eat it I get REALLY CONSTIPATED so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol
The old cookoo master on the top of Mt. Qinshan told me this when I was eating sushi
“The first bite tastes like heaven, the second takes you there.”
😳
Q: What do bloods eat when they get sick?
A: Chicken noodle suwoop
After having a win at bingo Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea..... During the meal her daughter asked her mum what it was to which she replied with a little smile...'Its what I call your father'... Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin 'Oh My God Dont eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!
You take a plane from Australia your mom is American your dad is British and. Your brother (and you) is Canadian (well because they traveled along many places) you are eating dinner but you realized you were going to europe. You went sleepy and you forgot your pet named “Strallia”. But she could not go anyways so you had to leave her. When you went to europe you were in the “COUNTRY-SIDE”
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.
why is the disease lung cancer never hungry, Because its eating on your lungs
Why did spencer eat cheese. Because he was Jewish
Q: Why did the boy not eat the banana?
A: He was scared the juice might come out
my name is Caleb and I like boo and eat it
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs
People are like Bean Burritos. You can eat them EVERY DAY, but you'll never run out.
Why do Vampires like virgins? Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.
wHAT DID I EAT FOR BREAKFAST YESTERDSAY?
10 YEAR OLDS
One day johnny told his dad this girl in his class who liked him he thoe she was cute she sead aw your like candy he doesn't say any thing he sead why don't u think I am sweat like candy little Johnny say well some time I get a tooth ake and it hurt so I stop eating it like I stobed liking u
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This isn't a joke but in some countries children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated
A boy asked his dad for a some money to buy an ice-cream with. So he went to an icecream van. Whilst he was in the queue 2 boys asked him what flavour he was getting he told them strawberry. The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The icecream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice-cream for free. When he got home his dad also asked what flavour he bought the boy said strawberry. His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy confused walked down the street and was stopped buy the police who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice-cream. The boy said thats me and the policeman arrested him. A week later in court the boy was on trial. The judge asked, ''can you tell me what were you doing on the fith of may''(the day he was arrested) the boy said I was eatimg ice-cream. Yhe judge decided he was innocent. On the way out the judge asked him what the flavour was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course he answered with strawberry the judge horrified realised he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately he couldn't change what had happened so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died. The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
