You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
'Cause mommy never gave them some.
Suck on a finger, once bite it off, taste it, put some ketchup on it, wait, I'm making a mess, I bit it off!
Why did Sophia cross the road?
To eat her nuggies!
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?
Brother: Why though?
Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?
Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
You take a plane from Australia. Your mom is American, your dad is British, and your brother (and you) is Canadian (well, because they traveled along many places). You are eating dinner, but you realized you were going to Europe.
You went sleepy, and you forgot your pet named "Strallia." But she could not go anyways, so you had to leave her. When you went to Europe, you were in the "COUNTRY-SIDE."
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
Why do Vampires like virgins?
Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.
My name is Caleb, and I like boo and eat it.
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.
People are like bean burritos. You can eat them EVERY DAY, but you'll never run out.
Q: Why did the boy not eat the banana?
A: He was scared the juice might come out.
Why did Spencer eat cheese?
Because he was Jewish.
What did I eat for breakfast yesterday?
10 year olds.
One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."
