Eating jokes
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
Why did the snake eat a panda?
What do you call an Indian eating cows? Mooove to jail.
What’s one food orphans can eat?
Homemade.
Her: Eat my ass!
Me: Yes, chef!
Memes
Bro really said “eat shit”
Suck on a finger, once bite it off, taste it, put some ketchup on it, wait, I'm making a mess, I bit it off!
Why did Sophia cross the road?
To eat her nuggies!
Why does the Flash eat ostriches? Because he likes fast food.
What do you call a group of Indians that eat curry all the time?
The Munch Bunch.
Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?
Brother: Why though?
Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?
Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
'Cause mommy never gave them some.
You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.
What does iCloud eat for lunch?
Your documents.
Why doesn't a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed.
The old cookoo master on the top of Mt. Qinshan told me this when I was eating sushi:
"The first bite tastes like heaven, the second takes you there."
😳
Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.