Dont jokes
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?
What is everyone’s favorite class?
None, because people don’t like school.
Everyone stop making 9/11 jokes; they just don't fly.
These 9/11 jokes just don’t land.
Why can't an orphan get a tattoo at a young age?
They don't have parent permission.
Why don't orphans go home at pickup?
Because they don't have parents to pick them up.
Don't break girls' hearts. Break their legs instead. They're two.
Bob: Can I come to your house to meet your family?
Orphan: I don't have a family.
Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?
Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
Emo girls be like, "How much am I worth? I don't know. Scan the code on your wrist."
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"
Why can't orphans exit out of their games? They don't have a home button.
Girl: Dad, where are you?
Dad: I went to go get milk.
Girl: But we have milk.
Dad: I know, I just don't love you.
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.
I don't have any friends.
If you like this, I can be your friend :)
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.