Dont jokes
1st Person: Do you want to know something funny?
2nd Person: Yeah, sure!
1st Person: I don’t know, I’m German!
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar...
"GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts, "We don't serve your type!"
I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?
A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"
The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: Impatient feminist.
Friend: Impati--
Me: Why don't we have equal pay YETTTTTTT?
GF be like...
Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?
Why can't orphans bake?
They don't have milk.
My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.
Why don't orphans watch TV?
Because of "Family Guy."
Why do orphans live on the street?
They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
Why can't orphans play poker?
Because they don't know what a full house is.
Why don't orphans rob the bank?
Because they're not wanted.
What's the difference between my dad and Nemo?
I don't know. I still haven't found them.
I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigarettes at the fucking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)
Yo, look, they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine. Yay, yay! Don't drink too much of it; you might turn into a wine rabbit.
Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.
Why do the orphans fuck in their cars?
Because they don't know what a home is.
What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?
"I don’t have a mama."
Why do emo kids not jump?
They're still in the sky.