Dont jokes

What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?

Lots of fans.

Wife: “I want another baby.”

Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”

Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.

Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!

Why don't Jedi like their female relatives?

Because they are Sith-ters.

Why can’t two Chinese ppl make a white baby? Bc two wongs don't make a white.

I don't like Twin Tower jokes. They always tend to crash and burn.

Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”

Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”

Chef: “Why thank you.”

Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”

Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”

We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.

Why are orphans so bad at dodge ball?

They don't have a home to run to.

You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"

An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.

I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”

I don't have a joke. Keep looking.

Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.

What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?

I don’t have a life.

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

I'm high and it's very hot.

I need some water, but I don't got none. AHAHA.

What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"

"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"

What do phones and orphans have in common?

They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)

Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."

Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."

Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"

What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.