Dont jokes
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”
Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”
Chef: “Why thank you.”
Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”
Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.
Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.
How many emos does it take to fix a light?
I don't know because they never came down.
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? Because they don’t get homesick.
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
Q: Why does Pewdiepie prefer knives over guns?
A: Because knives don't have barrels.
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
I wrote a joke on MH370... but I don’t know where it went.
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
Why don't you take emo skydiving?
They cut the rope.
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.
To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.
Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”