Dilemma jokes
Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
Guys, I have a dilemma. I'm a beta, please help!
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance party? Because he had NOBODY to dance with.
You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.
oh my
When your crush walks in class, but you're homeschooled...
Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.
My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
When your mum tells you to help your granny And you in plug life support.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
Bully: *Bullies kid*
Orphan: Stop!! *Cries*
Bully: What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?? XD
Orphan: :/
Why can't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he has "no body" to go with!
How is sports like regular life for orphans?
They don't get picked for either.
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven.
Oh, wait... never mind...
Why can’t orphans tell these jokes?
Because they're fun for the whole family to hear.
I hate two-faced people because I don’t know which face to slap first. :)
If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!