Difference

Difference jokes

Orphan

What is the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?

The baseball player has a home to run back to.

Human

What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.

Pasta

My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!

Corpse

What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?

Orphan

What's the difference between me and an orphan's parents?

I actually come back with the milk.

Terrorist

What's the difference between a woman with a penis and a terrorist? You can negotiate with the terrorist.

Gun

What is the difference between a bag of chips and a gun?

If you pull one of them suddenly, everybody wants to be your friend.

Zoo

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

Captain

What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?

Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.

School shooting

What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.

Orphan

What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.

Mushroom

What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.

Computer

What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Snack

What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?

One is a snack cracker.

The other, a crack snacker.

Cunnilingus

What is the difference between cunnilingus and a confused Parisian tourist?

One lapses into French, the other Frenches into laps.

Kid

P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?

P2: I don't know.

P1: Wow, you sick fuck!