Difference jokes
What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?
The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple has a family tree.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an airplane landing strip? Don't know, neither did my dad.
What is the difference between the Titanic and the Twin Towers?
They both went down.
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”
Wife: “ok... what is it?”
Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?
Nothing. They are both just memories.
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?
Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.
My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.
What do / and \ have in common?
They have different results.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
What's the difference between limbs of babies and a dick?
I've never sucked on dicks.
Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up.
"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
What's the difference between a 14-year-old boy and an 8-year-old boy?
The 14-year-old is on top, the 8-year-old is on the bottom.
What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette?
They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?
When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!