Difference jokes
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
Why do women rub their eyebrows? They don't got balls to scratch!
What's the difference between an orange?
A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boomer age?
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apes get picked.
What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
What's the difference between you and your sister?
Your dad.
What’s the difference between your wife and a light switch?
I don’t turn on a light switch.
What's the difference between me and the rest of America?
I love one and hate the other.
What's the difference between me and an orphan's parents?
I actually come back with the milk.
What is the difference between cunnilingus and a confused Parisian tourist?
One lapses into French, the other Frenches into laps.
What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.
What's the difference between Jordan and George Floyd? Jordan had air.
What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?
One is a snack cracker.
The other, a crack snacker.
What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.