Difference jokes
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What is the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
What is the difference between interstate and intercourse?
What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.
What's the difference between Jordan and George Floyd? Jordan had air.
What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.
What's the difference between orphans and apples? Apples get picked.
What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.
What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.
What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.
What's the difference between an orange?
A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
Why do women rub their eyebrows? They don't got balls to scratch!
What is the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?
The baseball player has a home to run back to.
My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why are dogs different than orphans?
Because dogs don't cry for their parents.
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!