Difference jokes
What’s the difference between your wife and a light switch?
I don’t turn on a light switch.
What's the difference between me and the rest of America?
I love one and hate the other.
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
What's the difference between me and an orphan's parents?
I actually come back with the milk.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
What's the difference between hungry and horny? Where you stick the cucumber.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?
A girlfriend likes a bad boy.
What's the difference between you and the internet? People want a connection from the internet.
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
What's the difference between a humorous bully and a small van driver?
One takes the Mickey, the other takes the Minnie.
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
What is the difference between me and food?
Food has a use.
What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?
At least one has a point.
Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
What's the difference between me and Spongebob?
Spongebob can actually get ripped.
What's the difference between Jordan and George Floyd? Jordan had air.