What is the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.
Difference Jokes
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What's the difference between you and a calendar?
Calendars got dates.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?
A girlfriend likes a bad boy.
What's the difference between a humorous bully and a small van driver?
One takes the Mickey, the other takes the Minnie.
What’s the difference between Swifties and rap fans?
One rap fan has a higher IQ than every Swiftie combined.
Q. What's the difference between Danielle Smith and a prostitute?
A. I respect prostitutes.
Q. What's the difference between Donald Trump and orange Jello?
A. The Jello has a higher IQ.
What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You stop milking a cow after 15 years.
A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"
The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."
Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.
The other day, I stumbled upon a comic strip in the newspaper. As I started reading, I could feel a smile creeping onto my face. The characters were so relatable, their situation so absurd, yet so familiar, it was impossible not to find it amusing.
The punchline was unexpected, yet it made perfect sense within the context of the story. It was that surprise, that sudden twist, that made me burst out laughing. It was as if the comic strip had set up a joke and I had walked right into it, completely unsuspecting. The laughter bubbled up from within me, a spontaneous reaction to the unexpected humor.
In that moment, I realized the power of humor. It's not just about making people laugh. It's about bringing joy, about making people see the world from a different perspective, even if just for a moment. And that's why I found that comic strip so funny. It wasn't just a joke, it was a moment of joy, a moment of surprise, a moment of seeing the world in a different light.
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
What's the difference between all the jokes on this page? Nothing, they're all knockoffs of old jokes you've already heard that aren't funny. Penis!
What’s the difference between a cat and a dog?
It’s easier to throw a cat against the wall.
