Difference jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What's the difference between emos and 9/11?
The emos are still there, high up off the ground.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner.
What is the difference between an orphan and a bandit?
One's wanted.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family picture.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because there's no home.
What is the difference between an apple tray and an orphan? The apples get picked.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?
One is beautiful.
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
What's the difference between a government and a pawn shop?
They lower you.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A rooster clucks defiance!
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?
The boomerang is guaranteed to come back.
What is the difference between chocolate and sex?
I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.
What did Michael say to the boy in his room at sleepovers?
"You are not alone."
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't toot when you put meat in it.
What is the difference between a grandmother and a maid?
One is hope and the other is soap.
What is the difference between a thief and a doctor?
The thief knows what you have!
What is the difference between a microwave and a basket?
The microwave oven does not explode within the set time.
What is the difference between a man and a woman packing boxes?
The man says, "I have everything I need."
The woman says, "I love everything I have."
Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.