Difference jokes
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
What is the difference between a comma and a period?
A comma gives you a pause, but a period gives you sleep.
Americans leave without saying goodbye, and Russians say goodbye without leaving.
What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.
What's the difference between a bicycle?
A banana, because vests don't have sleeves.
What is the difference between the assassination of César and the assassination of Jesus?
They were both killed by Romans.
What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.
What is the difference between Clash Royale and the Twin Towers?
Clash Royale still has a tower.
What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.
What's the difference between my wife and her sisters?
Her sisters ate hotter, and I married the grenade.
Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.
I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.
My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.
Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.
What’s the difference between me and Glow In The Dark Intelligent Putty? The putty’s intelligent!
What is the difference between Fortnite and PUBG?
I don't know.
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
What's the difference between Jordan and George Floyd? Jordan had air.
What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?
One you cut into 2 with a knife.
And the watermelon you cut into pieces.
What's the difference between you and an orphan?
Nothing.