Difference jokes

What is the difference between a bag of chips and a gun?

If you pull one of them suddenly, everybody wants to be your friend.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apes get picked.

What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.

What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?

Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.

What's the difference between "ooh" and "aah"?

About 3 inches.

P.S. Please comment and like!

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.

What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.

What is the difference between cunnilingus and a confused Parisian tourist?

One lapses into French, the other Frenches into laps.

What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?

One is a snack cracker.

The other, a crack snacker.

P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?

P2: I don't know.

P1: Wow, you sick fuck!

What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.

What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?

Kids won't eat the broccoli.

What's the difference between hungry and horny? Where you stick the cucumber.

What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?

Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.

What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?

Oh wait, I am because she's 10.

What's the difference between you and the internet? People want a connection from the internet.

What’s the difference between rap lovers and the Gigachad?

Rap lovers get more pussy.

What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?

At least one has a point.

What is the difference between me and food?

Food has a use.