Difference jokes
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
Why are dogs different than orphans?
Because dogs don't cry for their parents.
What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.
My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
Why do women rub their eyebrows? They don't got balls to scratch!
What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.
What is the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?
The baseball player has a home to run back to.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?
Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.
What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.
What's the difference between a woman with a penis and a terrorist? You can negotiate with the terrorist.
What is the difference between a bag of chips and a gun?
If you pull one of them suddenly, everybody wants to be your friend.
What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.
What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.
What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?
One is a snack cracker.
The other, a crack snacker.
What is the difference between cunnilingus and a confused Parisian tourist?
One lapses into French, the other Frenches into laps.
What's the difference between "ooh" and "aah"?
About 3 inches.
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What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apes get picked.