Difference jokes
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.
What's the difference between an umbrella and a tree?
I don't know.
Hey, Patrick, what am I??
Uh, stupid?
No, I’m Texas!
What’s the difference??
😂😂😂😂
What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?
The chicken is actually used for something.
What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.
What's the difference between a used condom and the UCP?
The condom was actually useful at one point.
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What’s the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on one.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.
What is a difference between a tree, tree house that yyyyy?
What do girls have that boys don’t have? Bobbies.
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
What's the difference between a duck?
One of its legs are both the same!
A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"
His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."
So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"
She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"
The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"
"Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.
The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.
"You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."
What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?
While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?
The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.
What's the difference between a bird and jam?
You can ham your cock in a bird, but you can't bird your cock in a jam.