Difference jokes

What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.

What's the difference between a used condom and the UCP?

The condom was actually useful at one point.

What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?

The dog knows when to stop scratching.

What’s the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.

What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off to jump on one.

What’s the difference between an orphan’s parents and a boomerang?

The boomerang came back.

What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?

Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!

What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?

The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.

What's the different when a little boy drops in Japan then and now?

When a little boy falls today he gets back up. But then everyone fell and never came back up.

What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?

Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.

What's the difference between a low tide and your hairline?

Nothing, they're both receding.

What is the difference between Obama and Osama?

Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.

You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?

Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.

Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?

A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.

What is the difference between a zebra and a female NCO?

A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.

What is a difference between a tree, tree house that yyyyy?

Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?

A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.

What do girls have that boys don’t have? Bobbies.