Difference jokes
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.
What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?
The chicken is actually used for something.
What's the difference between a bird and jam?
You can ham your cock in a bird, but you can't bird your cock in a jam.
A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."
What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can actually call home.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?
The parents remember 9/11.
What is the difference between a thief and a doctor?
The thief knows what you have!
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
What's the difference between a priest and customer service?
At least you can call customer service and tell them how your experience was.
What's the difference between Arsenal and West Ham?
Arsenal can win trophies and win games.
What’s the difference between Disney+ and P*rnhub?
Disney+ wants you to hate your stepmother.
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?
Sit down and shut up.
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?
At least the mistake was loved.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
How many emos like anagrams?
Some.
What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?
Emold.
What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?
They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.
What do you call flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, let them cry in the dark.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.
“Emo cake?” says the baker. ”What exactly is it?”
Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”
How do you pull an emo from a tree?
Cut the rope.
What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?
They’re both white and flavorless.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What do you call an obese emo teen?
An edgelord.
Recommended: Fat Jokes
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
How are cats and emos different from one another?
The cat still has 8 other lives.
Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?
They are playing Fruit Ninja.
What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?
Sonic the Edgy hog.
Why would the emo swallow a clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why are Emos still around?
Because the suffering never ends.
What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?
You encourage them.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What is the favorite game of an emo?
Hangman.
Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?
So it could cut itself.
A group of friends started an emo salsa band.
They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.
What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?
Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.