Difference jokes
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What's the difference between a pizza & a person?
A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
What's the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.
What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?
I don't eat the fruit.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly girl? The Twin Towers at least got fucked.
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
What's the difference between an Al Qaeda Base and a Pakistani School?
"I don't know man, I just fly the drones."
What's the difference between a spare tire and dead hookers? I don't have 8 spare tires in my trunk.
What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?
At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?
A rock can break a glass ceiling.
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.