What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?
A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
What’s the difference between a Jew and an American? The American makes it out of camp.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?
Some people don’t pick it.
What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a trans person?
About 3 years.
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?
The tornado siren doesn't get raped.
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What’s the difference between a Black man and a Jew?
One was born burnt.
What is the difference between white people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.
