Difference jokes
What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein?
Only difference between Michael and Jeffrey is Epstein wasn't a smooth criminal, and Michael was.
What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?
Santa Claus gets to leave the chimney alive.
What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What's the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you stick the cucumber.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.