Difference jokes
What's the difference between me and Spongebob?
Spongebob can actually get ripped.
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
What's the difference between Nickelback and a nickel?
A nickel is actually metal.
What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?
One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
There’s a noticeable difference between using polish to remove grease and using Polish to remove Greece.
What's the difference between Christian theocrats and Islamic fundamentalists?
Presentation.
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Q. What's the difference between a CEO and a deer?
A. You don't normally fuck the deer after you've shot it.
What’s the difference between kids and drugs?
I don’t hide drugs in my basement.
What’s the difference between toilet paper and a curtain?
So, it was you....
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.
What's the difference between Canada and the USA?
In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.
In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
What the difference between a priest and acne
Acne waits till your 13 to cum on your face
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?
I've never been inside a submarine.
A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"
His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."
So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"
She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"
The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"
"Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.
The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.
"You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."
It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!
What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.