Didnt jokes
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had "no-body" to go with.
You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.
Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.
Why didn’t the turkey cross the road?
To prove that he was not chicken.
Why didn't the Twin Towers order cheese pizza?
They like pepperoni, not plane!
Yo mama so fat, that when she fell I didn’t laugh, but damn that sidewalk cracked up. 👋
Where did Sally go during the bombings? Everywhere!
Why didn’t the parents bother looking for her? Because she was in the front and back yard in small chunks! 😂
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.
Why was Stephen Hawking always like this 🫠?
Because he didn’t have emojis on his computer.
What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?
"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."
There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
(Ten, if you count in base 13!)
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl?
Because it was a Rogue One!
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
Kid: Where do I put this paper?
Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.
Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*
Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?
Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.
Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*
Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.
Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!
Kid: Yes, you told me to!
Teacher: I meant at school!
Kid: Ohhhhhh!
Teacher: Duh!
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she replied with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...”.
Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said Sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****,” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is, and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.
The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is, and he answered with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”
As Sam arrived at the counselor’s office, she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****,” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My father didn’t beat cancer.
They didn't have a category for Bald, so I chose the Bald Eagle.
Did you know that bald people have an endless forehead?