Didnt jokes
I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
I told this man to rev his vehicle.
Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.
Why did Stephen die so early?
He didn't use long lasting batteries.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"
Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."
Genie: Poof!
Tom: It didn't work.
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?
Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH
I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...
One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...
Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)
To all the little rude people here, fuck you. I didn't ruin this country, it was Putin!
How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road and didn't make it.
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
Because 7 wanted to bring two knives for survival, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hated him, and didn’t have benign intentions.
Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.
Did you hear about the deaf man who got a ticket?
It's OK, he didn't either!
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
Trump: Caillou, can you please stop whining? That squirrel didn’t just eat our pizza, he also ditched your dad, and he’s your stepdad now.
Caillou: Why I’m bald, Trumpy?
Trump: I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re a massive shit stain.
Why didn’t Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.
Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris.