Depression jokes
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*
Wow, he stole my antidepressant toy. The next day, he was on the ground.
I laughed at my life so hard.
Less depresso, more espresso, I'm still depressed, but now I'm fast.
I gave an emo kid money.
He gave me the great depression.
What do you (anyone) and a joke not have in common?
Jokes have meanings.
Dad: Alive.
Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).
Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.
Mother: Alive...
Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
Why drink water and not bleach?
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.
It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️
Everyone: "Wow, you're so nice and perfect! Your life must be great!"
*Reality of having depression* Me: "Oh yeah, I guess. 😀"
Depressed caller: "I'm done with everything!"
Responder: "Please hang on!"
Life with depression is like a cheeseburger.
It's not good without the cheese.
A donut is not empty inside, that was a hole in the middle. If I'm a donut, the hole used to be where I put my feeling and happiness, but people snatch it away from me.
Anyway, can someone put a hole in my physical body too? I kinda wanted to see people cry for me just like how people cry for Ace from One Piece.
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.