Depression jokes
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.
Why drink water and not bleach?
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.
Wow, he stole my antidepressant toy. The next day, he was on the ground.
Less depresso, more espresso, I'm still depressed, but now I'm fast.
I laughed at my life so hard.
I gave an emo kid money.
He gave me the great depression.
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
What will make a depressed teenager happy?
A cliff.
When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.
How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.
Yo, I feel like shit when you're around.
What do you call a failure in another language?
Me.
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
What do you (anyone) and a joke not have in common?
Jokes have meanings.