Depression jokes
How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
Yo, I feel like shit when you're around.
1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
What do you call a failure in another language?
Me.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
Dad: Alive.
Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).
Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.
Mother: Alive...
Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.
What do you (anyone) and a joke not have in common?
Jokes have meanings.
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
GTA 6
I got sad today.
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
What is the difference between me and food?
Food has a use.
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.