Depression jokes
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
What is the difference between me and food?
Food has a use.
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.
Why are you sad? Because you are in Morocco, ha ha.
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.
Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?
Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.
Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.
What will make a depressed teenager happy?
A cliff.
Yo, I feel like shit when you're around.
How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
What do you call a failure in another language?
Me.
1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.