Depression

Depression jokes

Mum

Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.

Mother

Dad: Alive.

Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).

Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.

Mother: Alive...

Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.

Blood

When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*

Toy

Wow, he stole my antidepressant toy. The next day, he was on the ground.

People

Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.

Life

My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?

Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.

Trauma

Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!

Love

1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.

Date

Person: What's your perfect date look like?

Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.

Emission

How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

Apology

My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.

If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.