Death jokes

How do you get a clown to stop smiling?

You shoot him in the face.

Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.

The police: You finally figured it out.

What's the best part about dead baby jokes?

They never get old.

Covid said to stay 6 feet... I didn't think Kobe meant it literally.

What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?

..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.

Where did Janet go during the bombing? Everywhere.

I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.

What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?

"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.

I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"

Wanna hear something bad? A pile of dead babies.

Wanna hear something worse? The one at the bottom is still alive.

Wanna hear something worse than that? He has to eat his way out.

Wanna hear something that's the worst? He comes back for seconds.

So Paul Walker made a rap cover. It is called "Straight Out of Windshield."

How do you make a dead baby float?

1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.

What do you call someone smart and dead?

Stephen Hawking...

Went to my friend's house, fucked his sister.

I had a fun funeral / birthday.

What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?

Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.

A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"

One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."

Q: How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Not three. My damn basement is still dark...

You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.

What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?

Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.