Death jokes

So Paul Walker made a rap cover. It is called "Straight Out of Windshield."

How do you get a clown to stop smiling?

You shoot him in the face.

Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.

The police: You finally figured it out.

An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.

What's the best part about dead baby jokes?

They never get old.

Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.

Where did Janet go during the bombing? Everywhere.

What kind of coffee do they serve at funerals?

Burial grounds.

What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?

..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.

What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?

They both can crash down.

I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.

Wanna hear something bad? A pile of dead babies.

Wanna hear something worse? The one at the bottom is still alive.

Wanna hear something worse than that? He has to eat his way out.

Wanna hear something that's the worst? He comes back for seconds.

A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"

One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."

How do you make a dead baby float?

1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.

What do you call someone smart and dead?

Stephen Hawking...

Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.

The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.

The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"

What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?

Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.

My uncle died on September 11. He was the greatest pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.