Death jokes
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.
What was the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind?
The steering wheel.
What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?
1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.
How do you get a clown to stop smiling?
You shoot him in the face.
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.
An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?
..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.
Where did Janet go during the bombing? Everywhere.
What kind of coffee do they serve at funerals?
Burial grounds.
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
What's grosser than gross? A truckload of dead babies.
What's grosser than that? A live one at the bottom.
What's grosser than that? When he eats his way out.
Grosser than that? When he goes back for more.
What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.
Wanna hear something bad? A pile of dead babies.
Wanna hear something worse? The one at the bottom is still alive.
Wanna hear something worse than that? He has to eat his way out.
Wanna hear something that's the worst? He comes back for seconds.
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.