You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?
Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.
Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.
What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.
What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?
..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.
Where did Janet go during the bombing? Everywhere.
Covid said to stay 6 feet... I didn't think Kobe meant it literally.
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.
Wanna hear something bad? A pile of dead babies.
Wanna hear something worse? The one at the bottom is still alive.
Wanna hear something worse than that? He has to eat his way out.
Wanna hear something that's the worst? He comes back for seconds.
How do you get a clown to stop smiling?
You shoot him in the face.
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.
What do you call someone smart and dead?
Stephen Hawking...
Went to my friend's house, fucked his sister.
I had a fun funeral / birthday.
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
Q: How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Not three. My damn basement is still dark...
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
So Paul Walker made a rap cover. It is called "Straight Out of Windshield."
