Death jokes
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
What is the only warm organ in a dead woman?
My dick!
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.
What was the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind?
The steering wheel.
What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?
1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?
..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
Covid said to stay 6 feet... I didn't think Kobe meant it literally.
Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.
Where did Janet go during the bombing? Everywhere.
What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.
I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"
Wanna hear something bad? A pile of dead babies.
Wanna hear something worse? The one at the bottom is still alive.
Wanna hear something worse than that? He has to eat his way out.
Wanna hear something that's the worst? He comes back for seconds.
How do you get a clown to stop smiling?
You shoot him in the face.
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.
What do you call someone smart and dead?
Stephen Hawking...