Death jokes
There's something special about cemeteries.
People are dying to get inside.
People named Joey are autistic and need to die fatty.
I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"
Me: The man sleeped in a $200 bed in His hole life so why dose he need a $2,000 coffin?
My friend: They're cheaper at Costco.
Me: Oh shit, you're going to have "fun" this weekend.
A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"
He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.
The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.
I wish I was a dinosaur because all of them are dead.
I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
Where do you find an orphan? Just look for your mum.
"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler."
My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball?
He had no-body to go with.
We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.
When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.
I'm dead serious about Kobe: Kobe in heaven...
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
How does the dog dance?
He doesn't... he's dead.