Death jokes

Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.

But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like everyone else in the plane.

A friend of mine loves to play Roulette, so I decided to introduce him to Russian Roulette. It blew his mind.

What's the difference between oxygen and children? I don't have oxygen in my basement.

I like George Floyd's new song. It is really breathtaking.

Why is it better to date an orphan?

Their parents are never home.

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?

Only the wife was hung up.

Sleep and death are alike; it's just with death you don't wake up.

Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.

We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.

Aj died in a bar.

The end.

Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you.

Now their owner is dying.

HAHAHAHA

I have a joke about suicide, but I’ll just let it hang.

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued.

Your flesh was delectable, and so was the rest of you.

What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?

You looking a little square.

What do you call a dead baby?

Spawn killed.

I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?

Kurt Cobain's microphone.

Why did Sally die? She got stabbed by her mum.

Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.

Not done yet.

Now they are.