Death jokes

Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.

If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?

Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.

I wish I was a dinosaur because all of them are dead.

I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.

Are you George Floyd?

Cause you take my breath away! 😮‍💨

The last words of a depressive person are: "Yay, Freedom."

Life lesson guys:

Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.

What's the difference between me and a rope?

The rope doesn't hang from itself.

I will never forget my grandpa's last words: "You still holding the ladder, son?"

Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"

Kid: "A leopard."

Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."

Kid: "Broooooooooooo."

When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?

I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Don't do suicide, that shit kills.

Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.

My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?

What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."

What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.