I will never forget my grandpa's last words: "You still holding the ladder, son?"
Death Jokes
Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"
Kid: "A leopard."
Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."
Kid: "Broooooooooooo."
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then the lethal dose would be a lifetime supply.
Don't do suicide, that shit kills.
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
So, two kids argued and insulted each other.
KID 1: "Your dad left because he didn't want you, so why don't you kill yourself?"
KID 2: "Well, your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you."
Why was Timmy the only happy person in his family?
Timmy is dead.
I don't have much motivation for things, that's why I haven't yet killed myself, hehe.
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."
