Death jokes
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said: “Fuck off, you won’t bring it back.”
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!
How to kill a blond: put a scratch & sniff in a pool.
aight I gochu heres da recolered image
Why does Aaron always look depressed? Because his grandma's dead.
What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife?
The first is easier to bury.
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
Why did the murderer invest in condoms? To kill the future buyers!
Why did Paul Walker drown?
Because he was too busy carpooling.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?
"Family strong, but not that strong."
Don't do suicide, that shit kills.
What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
Are you George Floyd?
Cause you take my breath away! 😮💨
The last words of a depressive person are: "Yay, Freedom."
If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.
Your mother is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven when she died. jaja ur momma dead.