Death jokes

The man was dangling by a string!

I was jealous the day he died.

What is yellow and can’t swim? A school, but full of drowning kids! 🤣🤣🤣

A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.

Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.

I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.

When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?

Alphaville - "Forever Young."

A friend texts to another:

"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"

The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"

To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."

Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?

Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.

Your mum is so fat when she died the Earth was flat! 😂😂😂😂

A leaf and an emo are both falling from a tree.

Which one hits the ground first?

The leaf, the emo got caught by a rope.

Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.

A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."

RIP Harambe.

Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?

So it can hang him.

So an emo shot themselves, and so the detective decides to ask why, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.

I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.

You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?

He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.

Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?

It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.

Why couldn't the T-rex clap his hands?

Because he's dead.

What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?

The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.