Death jokes
My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.
What happened when the 400+ women ate a slice of cake?
She died the next weekend.
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.
What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?
Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂
How do you get my neighbor out of their tree?
You untie the rope.
What's the difference between dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
What's better than one dead baby?
Two dead babies.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got shot. Dumb bitch!
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.
He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
Why did Ten die?
It was between 9/11.
Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...
They all call it self-baptism. I call it failed suicide.
God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
What did the Emo and the Orphan have in common?
They both hang with the trees.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.