Death jokes
My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."
Why do orphans not have parents?
Answer: Their parents are yeet dead dead.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
Why did Wilson die? Cuz he sucks!
A bullet is like an arrow.
Nothing can stop it from going through your head.
How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?
Depends on who's hanging.
I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.
How can you tell when a female became a rape victim? She crossed herself out, hanging by with a Carlton dry.
Did you hear that nursing homes keep returning the new Paul Walkers?
They let the elderly move fast, but then burst into flames and burn the patients alive.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he was arrested on suspicion of murder.
"Meow, meow, woof, woof." That's what animals say to me when I die.
My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.
The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.
Why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get run over and poop, and he died for 30 years until he was sent to Joe for getting run over, and he got killed by something, and then he died, and then he got it by you poop.
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.
One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"
The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He traveled too far from the outlet.
Stephen Hawking died because he got hit by a RAM.
Guess why Stephen died?? Because his wife forgot to put him on charge at night.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
The Windows XP log out sound.
(l=====8
What do you call the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones!