Death jokes
You see a cat, it's dead, you are dead.
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
What did the chicken say after he died? Nothing.
Why did the baby cross the road? Because he wanted to die.
How are babies and the elderly similar?
They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.
Q: What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
A: A Lamborghini isn't a very fun hobby.
Why did Stephen Hawking die when he logged onto Facebook?
It took all his info!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his carer lost his charger.
Suicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breathe.
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because his ethernet cable disconnected.
People named Joey are autistic and need to die fatty.
Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream?
Because he was dead.
I got you the candy. Haha! You idiot, it's poison!
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.
Once a bird went to search for food. Then suddenly he saw grain on a road. When he saw a bullock cart, he said, "That's too far away." Then the bullock immediately came, and the king bird came, and the deceitful bird said, "Sorry, Majesty, I was wrong to eat this on the road." And then he died, and the king bird goes back and tells everybody about it.
What do you call a pedophile who's dying? You.
A husband and wife are crossing the street. The husband is explaining to the wife why you should always look both ways before crossing the street.
Man: "So you see, Dolly? You should always look both ways before crossing the street."
The man turns and looks to his wife, but she is not there!
Man: "Dolly? Dolly!"
The man looks around and sees Dolly laying dead on the street.
Man: "Dolly!"