Death jokes

Shia Mehdi unlived by beard guy looooool 🤨

How do make an adult cry?

Stab him 10000 times until the floors are red with human blood.

During the election campaign of 2012, we heard about Obama, but we thought they said Osama. So I told my friend, "Grab his gun and let's have some fun." So during one of Obama's campaigns, we both shot him to death, which lasted a while.

Then my friend said, "Let's go get piss drunk at Mavericks bar." Then on TV they talked about Obama's death, and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.

Bullets.

I will tell you a story. There was a fruit named Pear who was named Dyck. He one day met his friend Carrot, who was later killed after being stuck into some girl's vagina.

Pear then became very sadistic and no one loved him, and he became mentally fruit-pressed. One day he met a Banana named Harvey Weinstein, and they got married and had children who were all named Minion. Eventually, the rest of his family died, and Pear was left slowly rotting away. His last words were, "I have finally 'peared' the consequences of all my actions."

Why was Jesus not good at Basketball?

Because he died in the Cross 😈

What is a skeleton's favorite instrument? (comment below)

What’s the difference between 80 dead babies and a Lambo? I don’t have a Lambo in my garage.

Your mum is so fat when she died the Earth was flat! 😂😂😂😂

Q: What did one dead hooker say to the other dead hooker?

A: Nothing, dead hookers don't talk.

I put a Dalmatian in a washing machine and killed him.

When your cousin dies and everybody thinks you're her.

FUCKING MENT

Why are dead baby jokes always funny?

They never get old.

Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.

You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.

Chris Benoit is like a depressed orphan because he killed his family.

You are so ugly my man died.

Now their owner is dying.

HAHAHAHA

When it's not just a phase and you kill yourself to prove it.

An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.

"I will see her in one week!"

A week later, he died.

Danny, your mum [is] dead as hell and got raggedy shoes on.