Death jokes
An emo kid in a leaf falls from a tree. Who falls first? Delete the rope, stop the emo.
My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.
I asked an orphan where his parents were. Then I remembered, they're gone.
What do Batman and orphans have in common?
Their parents died.
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He hit Alt+F4.
You see a cat, it's dead, you are dead.
My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.
What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...
What did the chicken say after he died? Nothing.
My grandpa died to ligma.
Ligma balls lol.
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
My first thought when I read Betty Pear's obituary was, "Thank God for Alzheimer's!"
I hope Betty Pears was a Buckcherry fan.
She literally died a crazy bitch.
Once a bird went to search for food. Then suddenly he saw grain on a road. When he saw a bullock cart, he said, "That's too far away." Then the bullock immediately came, and the king bird came, and the deceitful bird said, "Sorry, Majesty, I was wrong to eat this on the road." And then he died, and the king bird goes back and tells everybody about it.
What do you call a pedophile who's dying? You.
A husband and wife are crossing the street. The husband is explaining to the wife why you should always look both ways before crossing the street.
Man: "So you see, Dolly? You should always look both ways before crossing the street."
The man turns and looks to his wife, but she is not there!
Man: "Dolly? Dolly!"
The man looks around and sees Dolly laying dead on the street.
Man: "Dolly!"
I’m about to tell you the funniest joke I heard:
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls emergency services. The operator then hears the problem and says, “Well, let’s make sure he’s dead.” A shot is then heard. The other guy says, “Ok, now what?”
Did you laugh?
1) What was Techno's reaction when he died?
2) Where did all the orphans go?
PS: In case you don't get it, it's a pedophile joke, cuz he is one!
How do you kill a tranny?
Misgender it to death.