Death jokes
I was looking forward to some toast...
So I took the toaster in the bath with me.
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because we were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin.
Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you!
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...
Q: Why did the teacher die?
A: Because he hated his life.
One time there was a squirrel who died.
It was funny because the squirrel got dead.
My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.
Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.
A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”
He went too far away from the wall, and he got unplugged.
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.
He died because he rolled too far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.
Stephen Hawking is ALIVE!
What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?
There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove box.
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he got sucked up by the black hole then got sent to the large charger in the sky.
How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road and didn't make it.
Someone on here said it previously:
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is until my mom took the urn away from me.
I lost $10,000, so I killed my piggy bank, so I get a real pig and money which my money is fake, but the janitor said it is real, so I killed myself and turned into a real human.
Remember the big forehead kid who said, "Give me a knife, I'm going to kill myself" because of being bullied?
His head was too big to even exist, and that's why he's dead.