Death jokes

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like everyone else in the plane.

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.

A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.

What is round and squishy? A dead baby's head.

Hey, do you know why America sucks? We have the death penalty.

Kill yourself, hoes!

Please don't kill [me].

Why did the skeleton not cross the road?

Because it did not have the guts.

Murder, murder, suicide by police.

So I was at a class at school, and then boom, explosion. Lots of dead.

I shoot at the people too, haha, goodbye class. Scary.

Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.

So, one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.

He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.

Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.

Yo mama so fat, she died!

Why do deer stay in front of a moving car?

To commit suicide.

शाला टाइटैनिक को भी यमलोक जाना पड़ा। हम तो आदमी है।

Shala, even Titanic had to go to Yamlok. We are just men.

I can't sleep, that's because you're dead.

What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?

"I used to do it, but now I cant!"

Wanna know why Stephen Hawking died?

He lost his Wi-Fi connection.

Q: How did we learn cats don't land on their feet?

A: We asked Mufasa from the Lion King.

What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"