Death jokes
Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.
Little Johnny paints them black.
Little Johnny went to a gun store.
Little Johnny made a big mess.
The cemetery people were getting paid.
Why did Stephen die so early?
He didn't use long lasting batteries.
How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?
Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.
Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.
I read the Brothers Grimm books, then I see a black figure reaping about.
I realized someone has died, but I don't do anything about it. I continue to read, and that's when I realized that I was one of the characters, in which at the end, dies.
The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.
What did Superman say to Batman?
Nothing, Bruce is dead.
My sister: See you at home in about an hour.
Me: Okay.
My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*
Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?
Sister: OMG, she's dead!
Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?
One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."
A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"
Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."
Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"
My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.
What body part takes the longest to decay? The eyeball, because it will always dilate.
Why did the skeleton feel alone?
He was BONEsome.
What do you call a dev that is dead?
A deadveloper.
If I worked for Edexcel, I'd give Caroline Flack an A* for her physics experiment.
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he had no BODY to go with!
This joke is so dark, I need life.
Why are skeletons so calm?
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.
Steven Hawking's death, you should've gotten a case.
He is dead.