Death jokes
Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?
Search up biblically accurate angels.
Why did I kill?
Because I'm dumb.
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.
I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.
I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"
What if death is hell because there is no bridge to heaven?
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.
I'll never forget my brother's last words: "Why is there a revolver in your hand?"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!
Beethoven composed his whole life.
What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.
Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.
What happened after George Floyd went to the drugstore to buy Zicam Extreme Congestion Relief?
George Floyd was able to breathe again.
Penis, neck, rope?
Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.