Death jokes
How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?
Definitely not 13, because my basement is still dark.
Your hairline is so bad that the queen died when looking at it!
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....
Sometime ago I went to the morgue and asked if they took walk-ins.
Memes
My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."
Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"
How did Princess Diana die?
Giving the glove box head.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
I ate all of your mommy's orphans.
My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.
Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.
An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.
(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")
Why did the cliff feel offended?
Because George jumped OFF. ENDED his life.
(I'm sorry... No, I'm not!)
No one:
Literally no one:
Abraham Lincoln: *dies*
John Wilkes Booth: *ranks up*
If Jeffy goes to an orphanage, he will die. How is he supposed to move?
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball?
He had no-body to go with.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To die on the other side.
Iron Man dies.
How do you know that Americans hate exercise?
9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?
What is 6" long, bright red, and your wife cries when you feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.