Death jokes

What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?

They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

"Windows shut down sound."

What's the difference between Jordan and George Floyd? Jordan had air.

Where are your parents? Oh, behind you? Not any more.

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who hits the ground first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo kid.

Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?

Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...

Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.

Your forehead so big, I think that's what Kobe crashed into.

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

Who's Paul Walker's close friend?

Tree.

Twin monks who ring the church bells died.

Now they are dead ringers. :)

What's the difference between a God and my mom?

My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."

I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.

What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?

Ground beef.

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"

A cartoonist was found dead in his home.

The details are SKETCHY! :)

For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.

What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?

R. I. P. Roll in Peace.

A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.

The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”