Death jokes

Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?

They don't have parents to protect them.

What will make a depressed teenager happy?

A cliff.

When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.

How many thots have I bullied?

Three. The rest are dead.

I accidentally said, "Go cry to your mom," to an orphan. 😭

An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."

Twin monks who ring the church bells died.

Now they are dead ringers. :)

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who hits the ground first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo kid.

What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?

Ground beef.

For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.

What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?

R. I. P. Roll in Peace.

Where are your parents? Oh, behind you? Not any more.

Your Nan is dead.

A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.

The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”

Son: “To the playground?”

Mom: “No, to the morgue.”

What's the difference between a God and my mom?

My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."

Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣

I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.