Death jokes
Why didn't the skeleton follow his dreams? He was too gutless.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Orphan: I want to kill my parents.
Random kid: I don’t think you have the facilities to do that, big man.
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I've never heard them.
I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.
My dad was one hell of a pilot.
Grandpa was a hell of a planner.
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Your Nan.
WHAT? MY NAN IS DEAD!
Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."
Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.
What falls quicker off a tree? The leaf or the emo?
The leaf, because the emo is stopped by the rope.
I asked my mother about her mom.
She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he got bummed too hard in the shower.
What's the difference between Madlen Makan and Stephen Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead.
I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.
When an orphan finds out who their parents are, and then finds out they're dead.
Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin?
Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died.
This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)
I have a body count of 7.
A bully told an orphan to cry to his parents, so he did.
His adoptive parents were very supportive about the situation, and everything was settled. He died in an accident a day later.
What fell first, the emo kid or the leaf? The leaf, 'cause the emo kid just hung.
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.