Death jokes
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stranger.
Stranger who?
Stranger, why are you in my house masticating my apparent dead wife?
How many dead strippers does it take to change a light?
At least 13 because my basement is still dark.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's already dead.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.
The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)
The reason why Steven H. died was that someone poisoned his chocolate mousse.
Q) Why is Technoblade's body hard?
A) Cuz he was thinking of children on his deathbed!
Juice WRLD died a legend. Making these jokes won't get you anywhere. Grow up.
I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!
Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!
I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!
An orphan was shocked, he called the ambulance. If he forgot he's suicidal, he quickly hung up.
More cops died from COVID than anything else last year, hahahaha.
They should have shot COVID instead of Tyrone on the microphone, lmfao.
Technoblade!
Please tell me you understand this...
Don't joke about Juice WRLD; he died a hard life, so get f***ed.
What's black, white, and red all over?
Lossvagus school shooting.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken.
Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the koala.
Q: Why did the tree fall over? A: The koala never let go.
Q: Why did the kangaroo die? A: Because the koala landed on it.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's black, white, and red?
A nun that fell down an elevator shaft.
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.
It was raining sadly all day. My wife, my two daughters, and me were stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died.
Wife: 😭😭😭I wish this never happened.
Mia, our first daughter: Mommy, it’s ok. I love whenever I see you🥰🥰
Abby, our second daughter: I love you all. Only if you guys die I won’t, but I love you when you're alive 😉😏
Me, husband: What kind of nonsense was that? You love us when we’re alive, but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓
Everyone except Abby: Abby, this is serious. Mommy’s mother and father died. Mia says: Yes, your mom is sadly down right now, you made her more sad😡🤬. Dad says: *sniffs* Abby, I had made a discussion. I will take you to an orphanage. I am sorry 😣 when I am better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back. Mom says:
This was not a joke. I just did this for Love 💕