I was looking forward to some toast...
So I took the toaster in the bath with me.
Death Jokes
Why can’t orphans have a horse?
Because they run away like their mum did.
My dog died.
The person I hate: Omg, my mom and dad just died.
Me: Omg, I am so sorry, don't worry.
The person I hate: I have a boyfriend.
Me: Well, I have a mom and dad.
The person I hate: Rood.
Me: Shut up.
Please encourage me to do suicide! ;P
You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!
My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"
Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!
Never kill an orphan, because then that will end their misery.
Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?
An apple and an emo kid fell from a tree, which one hit the ground?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he's slightly ginger.
What's a baby orphan's favorite joke?
"When am I gonna see my parents?"
Lmao.
Why don't orphans play Minecraft?
Because Technoblade is on the platform.
Why did the dick suck my ass? They died.
When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.
FUCKING MENT
I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.
When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,
"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
A happy family.
Killing someone is better than killing yourself.
Man: Oi, dude, why did you shoot the orphans!?
Other man: Because.
Man: Because why!?
Other man: Because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
