Death jokes
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw 'em.
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Your Nan.
WHAT? MY NAN IS DEAD!
What falls quicker off a tree? The leaf or the emo?
The leaf, because the emo is stopped by the rope.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he got bummed too hard in the shower.
So an emo shot themselves, and so the detective decides to ask why, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.
My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:
Allah hu akbar.
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
Technoblade never got a wife.
What do you call a pig that goes to the slaughterhouse? Technoblade.
My great uncle died in a concentration camp.
He fell off one of the guard towers.
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.
What's yellow and can't swim? A school bus full of orphans.
What fell first, the emo kid or the leaf? The leaf, 'cause the emo kid just hung.
I asked my mother about her mom.
She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.
What hit the floor first, the emo or the apple? The apple, the rope stopped the emo.
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
A bully told an orphan to cry to his parents, so he did.
His adoptive parents were very supportive about the situation, and everything was settled. He died in an accident a day later.
When an orphan finds out who their parents are, and then finds out they're dead.