What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
Error, error, error.
System shutting down.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the WiFi router.
The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.
This joke is so dark, I need life.
What do school shooting jokes and school shooting victims have in common? They never get old.
What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?
The steering wheel.
How do you make an orphan shut up?
You tell his mom.
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels! We'll see him soon.
Why did the orphan kill himself?
Why are skeletons so calm?
You're an orphan.
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he had no BODY to go with!
20 years later
Johnny: Hey dad.
Dad: Yea?
Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!
Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.
Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.
Dad:...
My son asked me, “What is angel cake made of?”
I reply by listing the ingredients in Mr. Kipling angel cakes. Then he shouts “STOP!” I stop as I reach food colorings. He slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper, “Well, in my angel cake, I put angels in them.”
I freaked out about this, so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake. He said, “Grandma, the one who died last Saturday.”
Once upon a time lived a fat ass named Steve and got rabies and died. The end!
👌neck
I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.
I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.
What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like everyone else in the plane.
