Death jokes
Why is Paul Walker a walker?
To let people know he isn't a driver.
I will always remember my grandfather's last words before he died: "Is that a real chainsaw?"
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
Not done yet.
Now they are.
Why did Stephen Hawking die when he logged onto Facebook?
It took all his info!
My father always used to say:
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Until the accident.
Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?
He pasta-way...
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
My grandpa died to ligma.
Ligma balls lol.
So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."
Do you have a halo, cause I can give you one.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.
Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.
We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.
I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.
I wish I was dead like my jokes.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die. His charger broke.
My grandpa died to ligma :(
LIGMA BALLS!
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.