Death jokes
This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)
Ammon died.
My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."
Roses are red, I am very cool, You, on the other hand, Need to drown yourself in a pool.
What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."
The other man says, "How do you know?"
The other man says, "Because she is dead."
Memes
Trout lowk make me think about the early death of Wayne Shorter
What do you call a person with a hole in their head? Dead.
Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw 'em.
I was walking to the park and a mystery killer came and shot me.
The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.
Why did the Orphan have imaginary parents?
Because his last parents existed.
Why can't you ever fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday!
Why didn't the skeleton follow his dreams? He was too gutless.
Just to an orphan.
Orphan: You're stupid.
You: You're so ugly, it's the reason your parents are dead.
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
What do you call skeletons having sex?
When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.
What's a zig zag and made of wood?
Stephen's coffin.
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Orphan: I want to kill my parents.
Random kid: I don’t think you have the facilities to do that, big man.