Death jokes

Why is death taken so lightly?

Because you can take it so quickly.

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

How did Stephen Hawking die?

His PC overheated.

What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?

A cabbage patch.

What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?

"That rotten asshole split on me again!"

I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Cause he would never look both ways.

I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.

I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.

End everything and your life, Steven Roca!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To cut through traffic.

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good. He died during 9/11.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.

Go up to an orphan and say: "Yer ma is deed."

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!

This is how to die soft 101.

Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?

I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!

Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?

They don't have parents to protect them.