Death jokes
So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.
What’s the last balloon George Floyd blew up? His heroin balloon.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
What do chicken on a plancha and emos have in common?
They both are hung.
Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?
Because they never came home.
What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?
Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
No one misses them.
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?
"Under The Sea!!!!! Under The Sea!!!" - The Little Mermaid
Get it ;) Dead ass motherfucker.
Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.
Bin Laden's relatives were killed in a plane crash, lol.
What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?
"That rotten asshole split on me again!"
I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!